Hello Reader,

GOOD GIRL GONE

Right about now, midlife, the people pleaser in you is ready to retire. Some people have the incredible ability to change their minds. If only it were easy for all of us.

. . . but some of us, what's under the people pleasing goes much deeper...

It's the GOOD GIRL CONDITIONING! - Deeper than the behavior of people pleasing is the Identity of the good girl or good guy or good they (Happy Pride BTW).

If you have always been the good one, the helper, the achiever, the "easy going" one.... hows that inner resentment feeling right about now?

Seriously. Here are some of the signs your inner GOOD identity, As a coping skill, is no longer congruent:
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• You feel emotionally exhausted
• Mentally, you feel resentful and closed off - that jaw may be tight behind your smile.
• You feel unappreciated and unseen.
• There's no way in hell you'll participate in a group project - or if you do, you just do the whole thing because no one else can do it as well as you.
• You can list the names of a handful of people you are avoiding because you are avoiding conflict.
• You question yourself more than you question others who a exhibiting red flag behavior.

Yall - we were conditioned and trained this way - for a number of reasons, if you resonate, your sweet nervous system learned safety. There's nothing wrong or broken...its just the wiring that happens for some of us (especially under high demand religion, southern-polite society, and patriarchy). I'll email about some of the underlying reasons next week.
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At its root, it's about internal safety and belonging through being "good."

One final note, as I pause this topic for now. Even as you do the emotional labor of undoing and releasing your inner "GOOD Persona" - your heart and being are still benevolent - it doesn't mean the only alternative is to be BAD. It's not "good girl gone bad... It's good girl done performing for everyone.

If this is squirming inside you, working with me can help.

I've been engaging in deep inner work with myself and my one-on-one clients on this topic. To see my clients go from emotionally frazzled and reactive... to calm, steady autonomy and grounded self-trust is remarkable. This is radical and brave work!
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I have 2 ways of doing 1:1 work right now:

1. My longer-term deep work engagements are @ 1100 a month for 7-12 month terms.
2. Summer 3-Month Program: *2 calls a month, 3 months, for $594 a month. What's possible if you give it the space to unfold!

Hit reply to connect and see if either of these options is a fit for what's calling you, or click the orange button above to visit my coaching page and fill out the application form.
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Love,
Allison Crow,

Allison Crow, M.Ed. IFS L1 Practitioner & Coach, Certified Expressive Arts Facilitator, Author Soul-Full Living, LLC, www.allisoncrow.com

EXTRA MOJO: Slow works. Just ask your nervous system.